28 Comments
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Wayne Stout's avatar

My favourite sentence Arthur, ‘The worry of fungal disease, of rats, squirrels, mice and pheasants whom all predate those big fat, Ferrero Rocher freshly bought quite sexual bollock like if I’m being honest, bulbs. ‘

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Lou Houston's avatar

Mine are already waning. You are correct, they are fast fashion. I need to take a restraining order out against all those bulb catalogues. Also, I find that you can spend a lot of cash and then they don’t look as you had imagined.

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Alan Carter's avatar

I remember you saying you'd rather spend £.... on Tulips than designer clothes. At least you don't have to throw the clothes out each year! That's what I object to - the waste. I've tried some dwarf Species Tulips which are very pretty and perennial.

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Arthur Parkinson's avatar

Yes it’s funny how you change as your learn and garden more and more

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Lucy's avatar

A fair few chuckles you provided me with there, thank you Arthur xxx

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Julie Woodford's avatar

Such a refreshing (and funny!) read. I’m moving on from tulips… Narcissi has won my heart this year!

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Nicolas Sutro's avatar

Man, they the queerest, gloriously glans-like, exhibitionist bollock display of the flower world, aren’t they. I am a big fan of their porn delights.

But, I think you’re right re less as more. I did three pots this year and that was cool.

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Kate's avatar

You've made me feel so supported...this year I admired ONE lone yellow tulip in a large pot seen rom my window and it had such impact. Any other in the ground tulips, even the species ones, were decimated by slugs...

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ruthE fox's avatar

This is refreshing and accurate, so much garden porn everywhere everywhere and especially around tulips and next to come is dahlias who also require special handling and which some single tubers I have seen from breeders are 35-45$ per, which I know will multiple so you'll get a return on investment IF you take care of it, anyhoo thank you for writing this and being yourself and I hope your garden continues to bring you Joy this month. 👌🙌🔥📣

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Anna Taylor's avatar

Totally agree. Narcissus are the way forward! I too have spent gross amounts of money on them and now see them as a luxury and mostly want to enjoy in pots, not to cut. Also I’ve been thinking about the amount of resource it takes to grow a tulip to point of flowering. They just aren’t sustainable in that way, unless naturalised. A total treat instead.

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Clare Hastings's avatar

Less is definitely more unless it’s a park. My mother used to. Dot them randomly through her cottage flower beds and they made a terrific impact. Little pops of colour .

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Sally Glover's avatar

So many echoes of how I’ve been feeling Arthur. Bastard squirrels got so many this year (in spite of the rose clippings) - and it’s been so dry too. Most of my pots are a mess right now and it’s still April.

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Selina's avatar

I do love glorious tulips but practically I need low maintenance and am all for more sustainability so I think you're on to a winning approach with less is more.

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Karen Roseberry's avatar

Perfectly said young Arthur. But you did leave out the muntjacs that blight us here in Norfolk. However the ones in pots stashed high out of reach of vermin (aforementioned rats, squirrels and deer) have given me weeks of joy and were the queens in the wedding flowers I did for my niece. I won’t be adding any to my borders anymore that’s for sure though.

Ps. I visited the wonderful Andrew salters garden in Kent on Sunday and he seems not to have any vermin in that field. Lucky bugger.

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Arthur Parkinson's avatar

Muntjac’s taste delicious ! I don’t understand why they aren’t eaten more and allowed to be such a plague!

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Karen Roseberry's avatar

We eat them when we can but eating a hormone filled stag can put a person off for life! 🤢

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Ann-Marie Powell's avatar

I thought I was over them, especially with my pots of iris reticulata then Daffs followed by Mr Fokker which have been delivering for two months BUT, these past few days, the ones I couldn’t resist planting up in my front garden. Well. They’ve totally knocked my socks off. Don’t think I’ll EVER not have at least some - I need all the day brightening I can get!!! 😂

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Kate Harwood's avatar

And the deer…don’t forget the deer. They had all mine last year and all my neighbour’s this year. I didn’t plant any this year except in a couple of pots right by the back door.

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The Thatched Rectory's avatar

I planted a thousand in the ground in 2023 and they all rotted, this year I had a few very large black plastic pots by the front door ( artfully disguised by terracotta pots of violas) filled with dozens of different varieties which have been blooming happily for weeks. Plus you can do all your planting in December in the comfort of a shed rather than kneeling in cold, wet earth trying to plant with frozen fingers!

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